Posted on No Comments on Madness and the pet monster.

Madness and the pet monster.

“I really need your help. I don’t want to be like this. I want to be a good person.”

Right, well, Tate has just gained a ridiculous amount of sympathy from me.  I have been there.  I mean, I haven’t nearly chewed anyone’s face off to make a point or defend my crush, but I have been there.  (Yes, more American Horror Story, although no spoilers this time.)

Knowing that there’s something wrong, but that even then the mind you use to understand that truth is off.  And knowing isn’t enough to fix it, thinking about it isn’t enough to fix it, wanting it isn’t enough, trying isn’t enough…

It’s hell, and there is no-one I’d wish that on. Read more Madness and the pet monster.

Posted on No Comments on Alright, I thought vacation was *over*…

Alright, I thought vacation was *over*…

It still feels like Friday.  And it’s past 2 a.m. on Saturday morning.

Am home, and since getting home… well, there’s been a lot of late nights and a lot of sleeping in.  Until noon, today, in fact.

I don’t like this.  I really don’t like the feeling of so much time lost, slipping away.  And I’m a bit worried because of how upset I actually was.  I’m not sure if it was just the sleeping in and feeling disoriented when I woke up, or being late to take my meds, or what.  I mean, I settled down fine for breakfast, but I was really unhappy before then.

I don’t imagine staying up until 2-a.m.-plus today will help either, though.

In other news… well, not much.  I’m going to be keeping an eye on my mood, and going back to the job hunt.  I made it out to stitch-n-bitch last night, and felt a bit more awkward than usual, but it wore off.  And I’m going to set my alarm for tomorrow.

Just about finished catching up on Breaking Bad; the closing music is playing for the end of season four.  Brilliant show.  Have started watching American Horror Story as well, and am–

Oh.

Oh holy crap.

Okay.  Well.  Just saw the end-end of the last episode of season four.  Walter, you son of a bitch.  That’s brilliant.  That fits.  It’s horrible.

I highly recommend that show, FTR.  Check it out, if you haven’t seen it.

Posted on No Comments on Very relaxed.

Very relaxed.

My tolerance, FTR, is terrible. Had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and am two-thirds of the way through a beer, all over the last for hours. I’m feeling comfortable.

Over at Jack and Rachel’s. We’ve met a lot of lizards and three cats. Were over at John’s aunts for dinner. It was mostly very nice, although after…

There was some stuff about how if twenty percent of the population has a “mental disease” then obviously it’s time to get the psychiatrists to adjust their definitions. And a description of a comedy about four people living in a house, two guys and two girls, each with a different mental illness, that sounded really funny. Until she heard the second ad for it and realized it was a documentary trying to demystify mental illness, and… well, that just didn’t sound as interesting.

I completely defend someone’s right to not watch something they’re not interested in. At the same time, it’d be nice to not feel like I was being lumped into the category of one of those people. Those funny, self-indulgent punchlines. You know the ones.

Pretty sure none of them know I’m on medication. I need to be on medication.

I generally try not to hide that I suffer from depression. Mind, I couldn’t quite manage to find a way to point out that I’m one of that twenty percent (whose claim of being ill is obviously suspect, but I’m not bitter).

I suppose that isn’t very interesting to hear about either.